Just Some Guy at Work

Most of your day is spent walking those same familiar halls, sitting in your comfortable chair, eating lunch in the same break room, and using you favorite stall in the bathroom; most of your day is spent at WORK!

And the people you work with get to know the "abbreviated" version of you. Most of them have not spent any real time with you outside of work, but they know all of your family members, how your last relationship treated you, where you are vacationing this year, and all of your favorite restaurants. And the mere fact that they can articulate any of these special things to you; unconventionally you transcribe that to mean that you have made a connection. Is it chemistry that you share? Of course NOT, but the fact you work with them daily; there is no doubt they will learn a lot about you. It is inevitable! You once told your girlfriends that he was just some guy from work and less than 3 months later you decided to become more serious.

In your attempt to secure a lasting relationship, don't be fooled by the FACTS people know about you on your job. It is the things about you they don't know that you should wonder if they could handle.

Skating Rink

I told myself in January that this year would be the year to do some things that I enjoyed doing, but wasn't very good at doing. As much as I enjoy being in a skating rink, I fear lacing those old rusty skates up and hobbling my way toward the wooden rink because I hate not being good at something. I feel embarrassed when I fall because I haven't learned to balance properly, so I just assume not even try. Have you ever had that feeling; the feeling that you don't really want to do something because you know deep down inside you aren't really that good at it?

It's mid-August and I still have yet to make time to go to the skating rink. Isn't that like a lot of us? We have these grandiose ideas about becoming better in areas of our lives and before we realize it; days, weeks, and months have past and we still are struggling with the notion that we haven't taken one step toward our goal. Sometimes we review the checklist of things we want to accomplish and because the list can be overwhelming we rationalize it so much that we fail to do even one thing on the list. My advice to myself and to you is that you create a new list. On this new list write one thing you want to accomplish. Only 1 thing. And post it somewhere where you will be constantly reminded of that 1 thing. And once you accomplish it, create a new list and on this new list write 1 more thing you want to accomplish. What's on my list right now? You guessed it...just the skating rink.

Good Luck! Love to hear what your 1 thing is once you've completed it!

Shoe Sale

I was in the mall over the weekend and I must have passed 30 or more stores advertising blowout shoe sales. Women were flocking in the stores; almost trampling over each other, yelling "Size 6, Size 7, Size 8". You would have thought that these shoe stores were closing for good and this was the final day they would ever be able to purchase a pair of heels.

All of the "hoopla" got me to thinking. How many shoes were already in their closet? I mean, I love shoes too, but how many shoes are neglected in our closet? And we buy, buy, buy and never think to give away a pair that we haven't worn since 2 summers ago. We fill our closets and before long there is no room for anything else. That is a lot like our lives. We fill our lives with so many things, and we become excited about the new things and neglect the "old shoes" that held us down. In this season of your life make room for the people and things in your life that matter. Just because its on sale and it looks good, doesn't mean its good for you!

Law School

My LB (line brother) is attending law school this fall and I'm remembering all he had to do to prepare. Long LSAT study hours after work, re-taking the LSAT to get a better score, declining happy hour invitations, declining birthday party gatherings, and even declining the occasional stroll practice. All of the things he had to decline, momentarily, were all in preparation for what his heart truly desired.

I started thinking; what things do we decline in order to prepare for what our heart truly desires? In the likes of law school, the grueling part is not always deciding you want to go, but what you do after your mind is made up. In preparation for what we truly desire in relationships, what things are we declining in order to bring about a better outcome? Do we still act the same in a relationship as we would if we were single? In order to truly have what your heart desires, there will have to be somethings that you decline in your life in order to be prepared for all that a relationship brings. What do you need to decline? That's up to you! You know you better than anyone else does, but let me remind you; you will have to decline some things in order to have a better chance at a fulfilling relationship. To all my law students preparing for the fall semester; I commend your sacrifice. May your efforts be contagious and pass on to all those around you.

More is Better

Recently, I had a wonderful surprise. I always wondered how I would spend my 30th birthday. Each year I created a new list with a different venue and group of friends to do it BIG for the BIG 30. Well, 30 is here and none of those lists even paled to the ecstatic birthday I experienced. My family flew me to Cabo, Mexico for five, fun-filled days. I had a great time with my family and will never forget my 30th birthday.

Cabo is filled with beautiful people. The men and women alike. I noticed a few things about their culture. The women (except on the beach) were dressed very modest and conservative. Their clothes were not as tight fitted nor did it accentuate their curves. I was forced to focus on keeping my attention at eye level, which is where my attention needed to be. I was able to share laughs about my experience in Cabo, practice some Spanish, and even accept invites to attend Spanish dancing classes. I became interested in their life and culture; more so than how their body looked. And it made me think that more (clothes) is actually better. Women, what do you want us to focus on? If you are showing more and more of your body, that is exactly what we are going to pay attention to. While the media portrays less is better; less is only better if you want MEN to think less of you. But we will think more of you the more you remove our focus off of your curves and onto who YOU are.

Your Gift Will Make Room for You

At times, we feel inadequate when we disappoint our significant others. The feeling of not measuring up (in our own eyes) jades our view and confidence of ourselves. Truth be told, YOU are enough. The very essence of you; considering your flaws and stellar traits is what makes you, YOU! We are not only attracted to the great things about a person, because if all we experienced with someone was great times; it would certainly maximize our personal feeling of inadequacy. How would you feel if you were the only one in the relationship who got mad, disappointed, frustrated, or even irritated; while your significant other never experienced any of these emotions? It would make you feel like you weren't enough and cause you to shy away from standing so close to perfection. But the reality is, they make mistakes like you. And it is those mistakes that make us greater individuals for each other. It makes us better listeners, better communicators, better friends, and even better lovers. Always remember, the gift in you is exactly what your significant other needs!

Just Me and You

One of my old professors in college used to say, "You have to do what works for you". And while that transpires into the lives of those committed students and beyond, it has to resolve in the dreams of those waiting on that "right" relationship or those seeking to enhance their current one. Many of us subconsciously judge the success or failure of someone else's relationship by looking through the lenses of what you see on the outside. We haven't spent nearly the same amount of time with that couple as they've spent with each other, but we are quick to judge. Wondering why some continue to stay instead of moving on or not understanding why some would keep forgiving instead of calling it quits. My hope is to equip everyone I come in contact with the hope to stay if that is where your heart is. Now if that relationship is not bringing out the best in you, it may be time to move on, but if it's experiencing the normal wear and tear every relationship will experience, HOPE is sometimes all you need. Let me remind you, do what works for you. Not what works for your mom, brother, godparents, or even your best friend; but the very essence that brings a smile to your face when you're standing in a room all by yourself.