The Ultimate Merger

The other day I was watching an episode of Donald Trump’s, “The Ultimate Merger”. One of the anticipated men to “win” the heart of the bachelorette, Omarosa, was asked how he would describe a romantic evening following dinner. This mildly confident man fumbles over his words and the only repair for a romantic evening after dinner he concludes is “sex”. Omarosa didn’t even budge at his thought and quickly changed the subject. A couple of things are intrinsically wrong with this picture. The first, he assumes that because he would love to be intimate with her after their first date, he fails to realize she is not even thinking on the same lines as him. Her idea of romantic, following the first date, was certainly not giving in to the likes of intimacy. Although women are visual creatures just like men, the idea of intimacy is not solely based on looks. But a woman will kiss a man for the first time because she thoughtfully hopes that their will be other kisses to follow; while a man will kiss a woman because he doesn’t want to pass the “moment of opportunity” in case there isn’t another. Men and women think differently. The second problem with his response is his lack of creativity. There are many facets and sides to a woman. To be narrow minded and capture all of them in a moment of intimacy is selfish and not genuine. His response should have started with wanting to get to know her more (what she loved, what she hated, what she dreamed for, what things she lost in life, what her ideal relationship looked like, what her favorite class in school was, etc). Intimacy is nothing more than a bonus in any great relationship. The more creative we can be in getting to know one another outside of intimacy will secure and strengthen any anticipated relationship and the future of one.